195,003

I am not a genius.

As a result,

There are many things in this world that happen

That I do not completely comprehend.

For example.

Why does my Fairmont's handbook suggest 5.5L of oil for an oil change

Yet my Fairmont be satisfied with only 4.5?

Why do I feel sick one day, better the next, but worse the day after

Instead of recovering in a predictable fashion?

Why would one occasionally be a tease

But for the most part appear uninterested?

Why would a best friend

Who merely weeks ago suspected someone of purposely manipulating friendships

Change their perspective and instead side completely with this person?

Who the fuck knows.

Some of life's many mysteries,

Clearly.

So here I sit

Frustrated beyond what I actually tell everyone

Not knowing why I still feel sick

Or why people play hard to get

Or why I'm being fucked over by people who used to care.

I want to play Grand Theft Auto.

Too

dle

oo.

x

P.S.

I would like to point out that I washed dishes at work for far too long today

And as there was basically an entire ecosystem in the sink by the end of it

I nearly spewed a number of times.

It was somewhat of a battle between me, the crockery and the dishwasher.

I won.

Then I went home.

The end.

Not Nineteen Forever

I would like to say

Very quickly

That my teen years have officially toodled away.

Wut,

I'm twenty.

But that's cool.

I can totally deal.

But for now

Sleep is most definitely in order.

Hello,

Next

Decade.

x

Bring Night

I don't really remember what my last post was.
I could just check,
But where's the fun in that?
I just saw that it was November 29th
Which was awhile ago.

Apparently there is some lunar eclipse going on tonight
But we can't really see it at the moment.
Although I think I'm about to get up on the roof to see.

**

Oh.
I just remembered
I hate ladders.
It's also too cloudy to see what's going on.


I'm on edge today.
God only knows why.
I slept in until 2pm
And I've done pretty much nothing all day
But I'm irritable.


That is all, really.


Yesterday I did a bit more work on the interior of the car
And I'm pretty pleased with the results.
In fact, my planned interior is coming together quite nicely.
Only annoyance was discovering last night
That one of my lock knobs has toodled out of the door
And.. I can't find it.
Conveniently they are pretty easy to replace
But still.


I think I may try and find a bottle of wine
And indulge a little before I go to bed.


Raise
Your
Glass.

x

Sip

Alright..so.
Turns out it's not such a bad thing that I am on my own.
I realised today
Through some random thought process
That in fact I would probably screw it up again
Due to my inability to balance friends and a relationship.
Hell, I have enough trouble with friends as it is
I do not need to add intimacy to the mix
Because too many cooks spoil the broth.

Terrible analogy
I realise
But nonetheless
I am a lone wolf for now


And
that
is
okay.


x

Ants

There are two things I want to talk about today.
One with a smile, one with an angry-Ziva-noise-face.
For those of you who don't know,
It looks a little like this:
>:Z


Let us start with that.
Some people need to learn
That whilst friends are supportive and helpful
They should not and cannot be relied on to be bitched at 24/7.
They are in fact human
They need sleep
And they have other friends who get really fucking pissed off
When their best friend has put so much of her energy into helping people
That she is forced to make the decision to recuperate instead of being out and about.
Spending time with those of us who don't cause grief all the time.
We all have problems at one stage or another.
We all need someone to talk to
And that is what friends are for.
Absolutely.
But for fucks sake
Sometimes you need to suck it up
And deal with it yourself.
That means no middle-of-the-night complaining
Whinging
Phone calls
Self-harm threats
Et cetera. 
Do not make your problem
Somebody else's.


If that is not understood
I WILL be smacking some skulls together.
Enough is enough.


Let us now move on to a re-count of last night.
Me.
Stace.
Mirko.
Emma.
My EF.
Some 15+ other cars.
Windy road up Mt Dandenong?
Yes please.
It was dark
And some of the corners were a bit hairy
One of them especially ended with me almost landing on the other side of the road
Going "holy shit, glad there was no one over there"
After that was a shocker of an overtaking job
I think it was a Nissan Tiida
And as I pulled into the right lane Mirko goes "FLOOR IT :L"
And I'm like
"I AM ALREADY :L"
Apparently going up a hill at 90 with 4 people in the car 
Means acceleration isn't at it's peak
Whoops.
We managed to lose both the person I was following
AND the person who was following me
So we kind of made it up as we went
And conveniently pulled up at Skyhigh
In a line of Fords waiting to get through the gate.
Win.
We ended up chilling with Troy and Paul
The latter of which knew Jimmy from ATC
So we stayed with them for ages before Mirko raced them back down the mountain
Us in my EF
Troy and Paul in Troy's arctic blue EL Fairmont
And we met Jimmy at Baysie Maccas.
After Maccas, and more Maccas, and more of Jimmy's mates
We toodled away..
Jimmy in a Prelude
Followed by Troy
Then me.
We come out onto Canterbury Road
Duck over to the U-Turn lane
And because I was last I got to see them both whip around
And after I'd also gone round I looked in the mirror
To see tyre smoke trailing behind us, from both Fairmonts
And it only took about 3 seconds before the smell of rubber was everywhere.
Someone made the comment of
"Ahh, I love the smell of burning rubber in the morning.."
And I was like "well, I really don't...."
So basically
We toodled home
And went to bed.


I'll go and check on the car,
Make sure he is all okay.
He didn't get hot
He didn't hit redline
He didn't whinge
So I'm sure all is fine.
The only thing that really happened was my fuel consumption went up
From 12.5 L/100km
To 15.8 L/100km
(which, in all honestly wasn't that bad given the driving we did)


So.
On the to-do list (eventually):
-new brakes
-better tyres
That should make cruising (read: thundering) around mountains more stable and safer.
-tinted windows
-that exhaust that Troy has on his EL
That should make me look cooler, and sound better.


However.
On the immediate to-do list?
-that aerial switch
That will mean the aerial is under my command.
-wiring up the Fairlane lights
That will again make me look cooler.


And thus
the
end.


x

Budging

Neglect

(noun)

 'to pay no attention or too little attention to; disregard or slight '

Yes,
It seems I've been neglecting my blog.
Multiple blogs, actually.
After my exam on Wednesday I'll update my photoblog,
And hopefully I'll have enough photos to fill in the gaps.
(Er, yes, I am aware that there has been a gap of 1 month +)

I've also been neglecting the reality that I need a new job.
Little by little our office tasks are being outsourced to an offshore office
And little by little our office staff are disappearing.
I haven't seen Emma , Annette or Lauren for over a week.

This is disappointing; 
Both in that I miss seeing them at work 
AND that I will soon be made redundant also
If this pattern continues. 


One thing I have not been neglecting
Would be my dearest Xandir.
At the turn of 190,000km on Tuesday last week
The little service spanner popped up on the dashboard.

By Thursday, and less than 50km later
He had new oil (with Syneco, of course) and a new oil filter
And yesterday he also got new spark plugs
Along with a new HT lead for cylinder 3, courtesy of Dad breaking the old one.
Inconveniently the coil pack is located in a stupid hard-to-reach place
But I did get an amusing picture of Dad almost diving into the engine bay to get to it.


Unfortunately, without a constant income I will not have money to fuel him
So this could become an issue.
Logical next step?
Seek..and hopefully


I
will
find.


x

Snow White

Mirror mirror

On the wall

Who's the fairest of them all?

My damn Fairmont, that's who.

I fucking love it.

Beware: if you don't want to hear me rambling about this car for an undefined number of lines

Leave now.

A white 1995 Ford EF Fairmont sedan.

185,000km.

$2999 from The Car Market in Footscray.

Registered until April 2011,

Roadworthy, and very clean.

A 157kW 4.0L inline-6.

4-speed automatic.

EL Sapphire alloys.

Automatic climate control.

Cruise control.

Remote central locking.

Velour interior.

Power windows and mirrors.

Drivers airbag.

ABS. (which I got to test out today, unintentionally...whoops)

I realise most of these things are not incredibly special.

But after being without a car for seven weeks,

It's pretty much an answered prayer.

I picked him up 11 days ago

And I've done some 1100km since then

Very comfortable kilometres, I might add.

I love finally having a car of my own again.

I love how clean it is.

I love how I've already learned how it will respond to certain situations.

I don't so much love buying petrol every week

But I do love that I can get better fuel economy out of a bigger and more powerful car

Than I did with the Skyline

Also, it's much more accommodating of five people.

And has louder speakers than the Skyline.

Sadly, I have no way (as yet) of listening to my iPod in the car

And I am confined to either the radio

Or badly broadcasted music from my phone's FM transmitter.

So that is certainly something to work on.

But for $3000, I cannot complain.

Everything works, which is nice.

It's clean (at the moment) and shiny, which is also nice.

It's fast, which is very nice.

In any case

I'm sure I'll be keeping him for awhile

And I'm sure we'll get along just fine.

Who's most likely to give you a car you didn't really want to begin with but ended up buying anyway?

Ford,

of

course.

x

Eclipse

How do you let something go?
Well, duh, it's easy.
You just let it go.
But what does that even mean?
Do I have to completely detach myself from the situation,
Not speak of it again,
Forget it happened,
Or pretend it never did?


Was it that important?
No.
Is it really anything new?
Not so much.
So what's the damn problem?
It goes like this.


For quite awhile now there has been just one thing missing,
Something I can obviously live without but would prefer not to.
At the start of the year I did actually have it, for a couple of months.
Since I've been without,
I've been looking for ways of bringing it back again.
This in turn has created a few problems,
Most notably the one wherein I latch onto anybody who will let me,
Very quickly,
And then get irrationally disappointed when it ends abruptly.
"There's a common theme here.."
Well, yeah,
I keep screwing it up.


Last night, thanks to Aidan + epiphany, I realised this:
I have the 'What', but not the 'Who'.
Huh?
Okay.
I know what it is I want, I just don't know exactly who I want it with.
Given my issues with finding the 'Who',
I've pretty much started applying my 'What' to whoever I can.
Along with this, obviously,
Comes the fact that the 'What' may only last a very short time.
It happened back in May,
I had exactly what I wanted for a whole weekend.
When alcohol is added, there is sometimes the option to have 'it' for up to a number of hours, which I think is what I was possibly aiming for in my intoxicated misadventure on Friday night.
Technically, I did, for a very very short time, get what I wanted.
Logically then, I don't want much, and it's pretty simple to placate me.
I was happy.
It was perfect.
For about twenty seconds.
Okay, so that was only one part of it.
I won't lie.. there was quite a period of time
(I wouldn't have a clue how long it really was)
In which I was perfectly happy, comfortable and content.
So, I suppose in a way
I did win.
Just not quite as much as I would have liked.
Also, in doing so, I neglected my original plan
(Which, by the way, was more for fun than to any goal)
So I lost the chance to amuse myself further with that also.
All in all, I took it for more than it was worth and ended up the loser.


It's happened all too many times,
And I'm finally realising why.
Yes, I'm bringing it upon myself.
No, it's not really intentional.
Yes, I can avoid it.
No, I probably won't end up doing so unless I stop drinking altogether.
(And no, I don't think I'll be doing that.)


"Forever's gonna start tonight."
No,
Forever already started.


I'm
just
missing
it.


x

Promise

I absolutely cannot get enough of this song.

Welcome back
Winter once again
And put on your warm fuzzy sweater
'Cause you'll feel much better when

The snowflakes fall
Gently to the ground
The temperature drops
And your shivers freeze all the rivers around
But I keep you warm

If speed's a pro
Inertia must be a con
'Cause the cold wind blows at precise rates
When I've got my ice skates on

If all the roads
Were paved with ice that wouldn't thaw or crack
I could skate from Maine to Nebraska
Then on to Alaska and back
'Cause you keep me warm

Peer over the edge
Can you see me?
Rivulets flow from your eyes
Paint runs from your mouth
Like a waterfall
And your lungs crystalize

I'll travel the sub-zero tundra
I'll brave glaciers and frozen lakes
And that's just the tip of the iceberg
I'll do whatever it takes
To change

Farewell powdery paradise
We'd rather skate on the thinnest ice
Fingers failed us before they froze
And frostbite bit down on all our toes

Snow drifts build up and enfold us
As we wait out this winter storm
So we snuggle close in the darkness
And keep each other so warm.

And this one is also pretty...good.

I don't need to fall at your feet
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone

If I don't listen to talk of the town
Maybe I can fool myself

I'll get over you 

I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
(King of wishful thinking)
Ooh I am the king of wishful thinking

I refuse to give into my blues
That's not how it's gonna be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see

Now that you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself

I'll get over you 

I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

I'll get over you 

I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking ooh-ooh
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
(King of wishful thinking) yeah ooh

If I ever get a chance I'll get over you
(I know I will)

If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Maybe I can fool myself

I'll get over you 

I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you (I'm over you)
'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
(King of wishful thinking)
I am the king of wishful thinking

I'll get over you 

I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
But I won't shed a tear for you
I'll be the king of wishful thinking
 

I'll get over you 

I know I will
I'll pretend my heart's still beating
'Cause I've got no more tears for you
I'm the king of wishful thinking
 

I'll get over you 

I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'Cause I'm the king 

of 

wishful 

thinking.

x

BehindTime

So, who has seen the ad for the new iPhone, with what they call FaceTime?
Everyone? Yeah, pretty much.
FaceTime is basically the iPhone's (well, Apple's) answer to video calling,
Which as it turns out is not a new thing.
I of course knew this, but it seems a great many people do not.

Apple's website says "People have been dreaming about video calls for decades",
Which is true,
But they have also been living the dream of video calls since 2003.
What? But how?
Well, through the magic of 3G UTMS networks. 
Three provided Australia with its first ever mobile video call on April the 15th, 2003*.
Since then, many Three phone's (including NEC's, LG's and Motorola's) have been capable of making video calls and even included dedicated Video Call buttons, meaning it was just as easy to make a video call as it was to make a normal voice call.

Let us backtrack to FaceTime, which is being heralded as a new and exciting feature of mobile phones.
I suppose in a way it is, as it can only be used between other iPhone 4's over Wi-Fi networks.
Yes, that's right, not over a 3G network, even though the technology has existed for years.
I don't know whether Apple has plans for this video calling capability to be expanded to use 3G networks or to work between other phones in the future, but I sure as hell hope they do.

I do plan to get a new iPhone 4, to replace my stupid N97 which I complain about constantly, but the idea that I will no longer be able to make video calls disappoints me.
I am yet to find out whether tethering for mobile modem use is an extra cost, but if it is I can assure you I will be just as annoyed.
I had the same reaction when in the iPhone 3GS they included things like voice dialling and a camera with autofocus. 
These simple phone features have been available for years, and it astounds me (and others, thankfully) that Apple are boasting about their 'fancy new features' when in reality they are, put simply, behind the times..


Yet somehow, they still manage
to
suck
us
in.


x


*sourced from http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2010/06/australias-first-mobile-video-call-april-15-2003/

Saddle

Dear World,

Fuck you.
You didn't win.
I'm doing it all on my own.
No tax money.
No repayments.
Certainly no loans.
I'm on my own two damn feet.


The three most important people
In my life
At the moment
Are toodling away
Effectively.
To different degrees.
But they'll never leave.


So once again,
Fuck you.
With something hard and sandpapery.


You didn't defeat me.
So get fucked.


K
THX
BAI.


x

Yesterday

Lights.
Brakes.
Tyres.
Rain.
Crash.
P/Shift.
Wipers.
Hazards.
Fuck.

Insurance.
Excess.
Assessment.
Outcome.


Failure.


x

La Manière

L'amour est un oiseau rebelle

Que nul ne peut apprivoiser,

Et c'est bien en vain qu'on l'appelle,

S'il lui convient de refuser.

Fromage.

x

JFC

So,

It may have possibly been over a month

Since my last post.

A combination of time going really fast

And me being busy

And most of all, lazy

Has resulted in a very un-updated set of blogs.

So to the few reading this, I apologise.

In the last few hours,

I've worked at a winery.

In the last few days,

I've spent time with Rachel and others as we celebrated her birthday.

In the last few weeks,

I've been working more, housesitting for Brisbane-visiting Grandparents, and there have been birthdays for Mark and Zach and a funeral for Mandy.

A few constants have remained I suppose,

Eenie-meenie-miney-mo feelings,

Convenient weekly income,

And the knowledge that my efforts will never

Ever

Ever

EVER

Be enough.

Do I care to explain?

No,

Not

Slightly.

x

Cell

I really miss my E65!
The poor thing ended up in a river after being entrusted to a certain deb partner.
I somehow ended up on eBay after getting to a satisfactory point in my essay
I think it was after looking at something on Hunch
And looked at E65s, N73s, V600s and even a 6220.
Now, I feel the need to tell the story of these devices...for whatever reason.

The 6220 came first, in about 2006 after 2 years in Dad's possession
It was without a doubt the most reliable phone I have ever owned.
As for it's predecessors, the 3210 had button issues and the 3330 would switch itself off.
One day, it decided it no longer wanted to accept any SIM cards.
It still charges, turns on, and ... well, that's about it.
But it would work perfectly if not for the small matter of snobbing all operators.
Next was the V600, in February 2007
Which I thought was a good idea at the time.
It flipped, and had Bluetooth
And therefore was cooler than the 6220.
It had been in Vickie's possession for almost three years
So was as old as the 6220 and much more worn.
Still, I survived with it until July 07 when I got the E65
Red, all shiny and new
The first and only new phone I've ever had.
I loved it to pieces
For about two weeks.
I realised soon that I instead wanted the N73
An older but more photographically capable model
And continued to hate on my E65 whilst it got more and more broken.
But after being fixed twice it stopped rejecting my SIM card
And clearly, a year or more after losing it, I find myself missing it
So it must have done something right.
A black V620 popped up somewhere around then, while the E65 was in surgery.
It didn't charge, so I needed the V600 - which Xanthe had at the time
To charge batteries for me
This was around the end of school in 2008
And Alix's Mum Robyn was kind enough to give me her old V3x
Which I kept for awhile, until (I think)
I got an N73
Finally, 18 months after deciding I wanted one
I had it.
I think at this point I had the E65 back
But it took a back seat as the new toy came with me to Brisbane
And took some really nice pictures, too.
Sometime in March of 09 I left the N73 at a parents friends house
The E65 must have been with Lauren by then, because I found myself back with the V620.
I snagged a lonely 6210 Navigator from work
Which I had for awhile before eventually getting the N73 back.
After awhile I bought the store demo Navigator.
At some point I got a Virgin SIM card
So as to be able to text Vickie for free
And this resided in the N73 for awhile
Then the V620
Then an S700, also work-sourced, not available in Australia.
The latter was eventually stolen from my car
And the Virgin SIM was in an "I-turn-off-every-ten-minutes" 6131
And later an N95 8GB, again, from work.
The N73 went to Shannon who later lost it
So I continued with the N95i and the Navigator
Until October when I bought the demo N97.
Probably the most annoying phone I've ever owned,
The N97 sits beside me on this desk today
As it shall until I get an iPhone.
The N95i is now with Zach
And I managed to get the lonely Navigator from work to give to Xanthe
Who's U700 was having issues...as they do.
The V600 and V620 also sit on my desk, but unused, and with each other for company.
The V3x is now with Stacey's parents, as it replaced Emily's archaic 5110.
The 3210 is still in Zach's room, and the 3330 was bought by Robin some years ago
And ended up going through the wash.


Most of all I miss the E65.
It was slim. It was fancy.
It had Wi-Fi and conference calling.
It slid solidly with such a reassuring 'click'
Much to the amusement of a certain Zaakary.
It provided me with hours of MSN entertainment
In the days before I could afford mobile data.
It showed me that MP3 ringtones were awesome
Unlike the V600 which took so long to load the tone that I'd answered the call already
And it let me do cool things like Bluetooth my English essays to Miss Hall's laptop. 
Yeah, it's tragic.
But I miss the damn thing.
Thanks, for the trip
down
memory
lane.


x

Noise

I try to sing it out

Make myself believe it

But my voice falters

And the tears that fall

Betray my confidence.

The strength I thought I had

Is 

still 

being 

built.

x

Onetwo.

I wondered where this went.

I thought I posted it weeks ago

But apparently I did not.

Another day

Another dollar

Such a strain

To make ends meet

To keep afloat

To smile and nod


It goes like this

Day in


Day out

Something old


Something new


Something tried

Something true


There comes a day


We find our feet


But until then

It goes again


Another
day


Another
dollar.

x

Sprung.

Fuck you..

It hurts.

x

Toodleoo

Oh

One more thing

I've changed my mind.
I'm happy.

I like it.

Finally.

Thankyou.

x

Electra-Glide

Okay,
So I've been ridiculously lazy with this blog
And thus, time for an update.
I have no idea where to begin.


See, the thing is
I take a picture to upload every day
So most of what happens is already there.
BUT.
I had a pretty important weekend
So I'll just detail that a little more, perhaps.

Okay. So turns out I'm too lazy for detail.
Besides, people will read this, if I actually write what I want to.


It was fun. Definitely.
Probably the best weekend I've had in a long while.
Met some lovely new people
And caught up with some old favourites.

And the car,
He was awesome.
Such a trooper.
Didn't miss a beat the whole way
Despite 1915km in one weekend
And four seasons in one day.


I felt weird when I got home.
Even yesterday.
Today, to some extent.
But that's how it goes.

It was awesome..
Just, now
It seems
I'm a lovesick
crack
head.


x

Semi

Circle?
No.

I didn't even remember until today, actually.
I thought about it awhile back.
Techncially it's today though.
Since today is Friday.

Although I didn't service my car yesterday.
And I'm not going "camping" next week.
And I'm not starting work in 53 minutes.


Would I go back?
I think I would.
Clearly, can't.
One day I'll change my mind.
Bring on the alcohol.


Soy
un
perdedor.


x

Knock

Stop it,

Stop it.

There is no point trying to impress

You'll just get your hopes up

When you KNOW it's completely inappropriate.

Clearly

If you've been given this chance so readily

You did something right the last time

So maybe don't worry

Because you know you'll just do something really stupid

Like...oh, I dunno

YOU'RE ALREADY DOING.

Idiot.

There is no chance

So save the time

And save the feeling.

Don't

fucking

worry.

x

Michael

It seems I've been superlazy with my blog...
Again.
Not that anyone really seems to notice
Which is cool.

I had so much I wanted to say
And I can't even think of where to start
I am still unemployed
And slowly running out of money
But my car is finally in a reasonable state
After I replaced headlight globes
And got Dad to fix the speaker today.
Tomorrow I shall do an oil change
And then perhaps he shall be happy.

Thursday night
I met Chris and Kain in the city
Both of them for the first time
And I had a great time
So much so that we repeated expeditions the following night
With the 7pm Project again
But minus the LOTF and the giant walk to IKEA
(sorry Kain..)
Chris is nicer than I expected.
Kain..
Is just..
I can't even.
I'm absolutely positive that one day he will make some girl the happiest person ever.
That is all.

And now I have run out of things to say.

I
just
haven't
met
you
yet.

x

Downgrade

Never before have I wished to swap my car

For something with less cylinders.

However,

This past week

I think it may have actually been a good idea.

Strictly for fuel economy reasons.

Normally I go through a tank of fuel each week

Which gets me about 450km and costs around $55-60.

But this week?

Oh no.

Let's start with some figures.

118.40

848

103.59

12.22.

Again?

Okay.

I drove 848km this week.

I used 103.59L of fuel.

I spent $118.40 on this fuel.

I got an economy figure of 12.22L/100km.

Which is pretty reasonable

Given my 20 year old car

Heavy right foot

And 3.0L 6 cylinder engine.

But still,

It was a very very costly week.

Coupled with the fact I have no job

It was quite painful trying to gather the cash.

Admittedly,

Mum and Dad gave me $20 for petrol

Because I had to drive to and from Corinella.

However even without that

It's almost $100

Almost double my weekly spend.

Again.

This is very much hurting the bank balance.

On another note

We hit 228,000 the other day.

By 'we', I actually mean the car.

But it means we've travelled just over 20,000km together.

Which is kind of special.

The oddest part

For me at least

Is that I did nearly 10,000 of those kilometres

In the last 6 months.

One might think that's pretty normal

Given the apparent average of 20,000km per year

But mine last year was between 10,000-15,000

So it's quite an increase.

It also means a service is due again soon.

Although this time

The days that follow may not be so exciting

Probably not as confusing either

But probably not as fun.

Yeah

It's been almost six months.

Give it a few weeks

Who knows

Maybe then

it

will

all

be

over.

x

A Lesson

Forgiveness.
A complex concept
But a simple action.

Do it.
It
feels
good.

x

Top

Interesting what Facebook considers "Top News"
Is it really that important?
Certainly not to me.
Firstly, I already knew
Secondly, I do not wish for it to be shoved into my face
Not only by Facebook the moment I log in
But by people who see it and are concerned.

Let me grow up.
Let me deal with it myself.
Big fucking deal
I got screwed over.
Such is life.

And to you?
'When everyone's gone and you all by yourself
You know that you gonna come to me for help
You need to knock some sense into your ego.'

History
repeats
itself.

x

Free From This

I love how much you don't care.

I had a car crash yesterday.

It was the most minor crash ever, sure

But you wouldn't know that, would you.

I've officially lost my job

But you wouldn't have a clue.

I can't sleep properly any more

But you haven't bothered asking.

I'm angered by what you've said

But you haven't noticed.

I love how much you don't care

But we all know that's a lie.

Because

It

Makes

Me

Sick.

x

Parachute

I fucking love this song.

It featured quite heavily in my playlists

Back around three years ago.

And it seems it still has a kick to it.

Grand Theft Autumn - Fall Out Boy

Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman

Maybe he won't find out what I know

You were the last good thing about this part of town

When I wake up

I'm willing to take my chances on

The hope I forget

That you hate him more than you notice

I wrote this for you (for you, so)

You need him

I could be him

I could be an accident

But I'm still trying

And that's more than I can say for him

Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman

And maybe he won't find out what I know

You were the last good thing about this part of town

Some day I'll appreciate in value

Get off my ass and call you

In the mean time I'll sport my brand-new fashion

Of waking up with pants off

At 4 in the afternoon

D'you need him

I could be him

I could be an accident

But I'm still trying

And that's more than I can say for him

One, two, three, four!

Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman

And maybe he won't find out what I know

You were the last good thing about this part of town

Won't find out

(He won't find out)

Won't find out

(He won't find out)

Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman

Maybe he won't find out what I know

You were the last good thing about this part of town

Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman 

(He won't find out)

And maybe he won't find out what I know

You were the last good thing about this part of town

BAM.

x