You're Just A Line In A Song

I look into the mirror.
Who the hell is this guy?
I'm sitting here.
Thinking.

Sure,
There are some things that are given.
I'm a fag.
But I'm not one of those pink prancing guys.
Fuck that.
I'm a fag, but I kiss girls.

I'm more one of those try-hard kids
With the purple skinny jeans and the straightened blonde fringe
Tight t-shirt
But not always.

I'm one of those annoying P-platers.
The kind you hate driving near,
Because they always seem to be doing stupid things.
The kind everyone shakes their head at.

I can be obnoxious.
But I can be awesome.
I can be genius.
Or a complete moron.

So who knows.
I could be anything.
I could be anyone.

Because
that's
just
who
I
am
this
week.

The Viper

Never mind.
Something else did.

I Want You To Know

It used to get me every time
Now, barely a rise.

Cuts Away To The Crowd

Why is it
That the things we want the most
Are always so fucking far away.

Or maybe it's just me
Maybe I'm the idiot
Because it always seems to happen.

I try to say
I don't really care
But I lie.

Fuck
You
Very
Much.

x

Not Dreaming

I don't even know if this is readable.
But I thought it was funny. I just keep talking.
In my defence I was doing it on purpose. But still.
Sweet merciful crap, I never shut up.

****************************************************************
10:50:15I say:
work is so borinb
10:50:17I say:
g*
10:50:22I say:
i could sit here all day and say how boring it is
10:50:28I say:
for 8 and a half hours
10:50:34I say:
but today its only 8 because i actually get a break
10:50:35I say:
lucky me
10:50:44I say:
for the first time in possibly weeks
10:50:53Pride, Greed, Anger LustGlutton, Sloth, Envy o( says:
lol
10:50:54I say:
im NOT running the whole fucking store on my own for the entire day
10:51:01I say:
but im working with someone else who i dont even know
10:51:03I say:
so i dunnno
10:51:04I say:
shes new
10:51:08I say:
and i havent met her
10:51:11Pride, Greed, Anger LustGlutton, Sloth, Envy o( says:
then I shall sit here and listen to you tell me how boring it iz
10:51:15Pride, Greed, Anger LustGlutton, Sloth, Envy o( says:
:)
10:51:15I say:
which means i dont know if she'll even know how to do things
10:51:23I say:
because i was pretty crap when i started
10:51:30I say:
although i picked up on it really quickly
10:51:37I say:
hence why i can run the whole place for the day
10:51:40I say:
which isnt hard really
10:51:49I say:
especially like today when there aren't actually any customers
10:51:53I say:
i've served one single person today
10:52:00I say:
and he told me how his son died over christmas
10:52:03I say:
which was kinda horrible
10:52:06I say:
i felt really bad after that
10:52:07Pride, Greed, Anger LustGlutton, Sloth, Envy o( says:
:D
10:52:15I say:
imagine if you died over christmas. how shit would that be
10:52:27Pride, Greed, Anger LustGlutton, Sloth, Envy o( says:
yes
10:52:31I say:
but he was so
10:52:31Pride, Greed, Anger LustGlutton, Sloth, Envy o( says:
coz Id be dead
10:52:32I say:
i dunno
10:52:34I say:
optimistic
10:52:35Pride, Greed, Anger LustGlutton, Sloth, Envy o( says:
and I would care
10:52:35Pride, Greed, Anger LustGlutton, Sloth, Envy o( says:
lol
10:52:35I say:
about it
10:52:50I say:
not quite blaze (need an accent over that e)
10:52:53I say:
but almost
10:52:59I say:
im trying to see how long i can just write
10:53:04I say:
without running out of things to say
10:53:09Pride, Greed, Anger LustGlutton, Sloth, Envy o( says:
brb
10:53:10I say:
if i changed topics it would be easy
10:53:11I say:
okay
10:53:14I say:
i'l keep talking
10:53:17 - Pride, Greed, Anger:@ (K)Lust(L)(H)Glutton, Sloth, Envy o( appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in
10:53:19I say:
because i just want to be annoying
10:53:27I say:
alternatively i won't because you won't even get them. lol
10:53:42I say:
also tonight i need petrol, which is annoying because its very epensive
10:53:44I say:
expensive*
10:53:56I say:
partly because my stupid car is not incredibly economical as it is
10:54:17I say:
but also partly because i drive like a lunatic half the time
10:54:21I say:
so i go through a lot of petrol
10:54:54I say:
although this week has been okay
10:54:57I say:
well. not fantastic
10:54:59I say:
but alright,
10:55:34I say:
i've averaged about 15L/100km which is still high but not as high as usual i think. im not sure.
10:56:02I say:
but either way it gets me about 400km/tank. although maybe a bit more, i dont usually let it get too empty. so i dont know precisely. but eh.
10:56:15I say:
i'll work it out exactly once i fill it up and see how much was still left
10:56:26I say:
haha. its funny. i'm still talking and you aren't even here.

****************************************************************


What
An
Idiot.

x

It's All Over Now

There are so many beautiful people in the world
And I am quite proud to say I know several of them
But it does make me think
(Which I should not do, it leads to bad things)

What if
There are people out there
Who you could really benefit from, if you met them
Or they could benefit from you, either way
Like, emotionally
Not like. You'd give them money

But you might never know.
I mean, it's not really something you can dwell on
But it's an interesting thought

And moreover,
The same applies for 'soul mates'
If such things exist, I'm not sure
But if they did
Would we meet them?
How would we know?
Would there always be this doubt,
Or is it just a Gibbs-style gut feeling?

Although
In a complete display of contradictions
I would say that
If it's meant to be
It will happen somehow
And I'd like to think

We
Can
Believe
That.

x

Roundabout

I love this song.
Inconveniently, Josh reminded me of it
And it made me sad.
So here it is.

Boston - Augustana

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...

Where
no
one
knows
my
name.

x

It's Alright With Me

Yet again I'm at work all day
On my own
"So what, it's in a shopping centre."
Yeah.
People just swarm past
Except those who seem to want an iPhone
I've sold 3 today

And this one dude.
He just bought a Nokia charger
The stupid printer isn't working properly
So I took like..
An extra 20 seconds to give him a receipt
And he says
"Lucky you don't have 100 customers"
Motherfuck,
Because it's MY fault
That the printer doesn't work
And that I'm here on my own all day

Zak was here with Emilie
But they left with some other dude
And I feel really alone right now
Just the likes of Eric Hutchison to keep me company
Thanks, Nokia Music.
PS. You suck.

I'm hungry.
My nose hurts.
I do not want to be here.
Perhaps I could boycott work.
And leave 140 minutes early.
But they may not like that.

Sunday's seem to annoy me, in general.
Mostly I think it's because I'm at work.
But I remember in year 11 having this problem with Friday's
I don't think it's the same thing though
Clearly since it's a different day.
But Phil's day was Sunday.
So it would be logical.

"That was not lovely."




I did have fun last night.
I did have another raging river of syrup last night.
I did not get a Colossal Sundae.
I did not regret not buying it.

But
I
Do
Have
Regrets.

x

Lest I forget

I'm afraid to forget.
Tonight, through a random string of events
I've managed to have a mental run-through of the last 3 odd years of my life.

And so as to remember... I might have to write them down.
These are going to be dot points I think, so as to avoid me writing for many weeks.
They are also going to be all over the place. My brain is not chronological today.

*Stace, the Hot 30 and NCIS
*Probie and McGee...different people?
*Steph
*Chris
*The fights, with so many people
*The weight-loss
*MEDIA, Kate and Vickie
*The 400D
*"I love school!"
*Mirko
*Phil
*The outing
*Nearly failing methods
*English Language
*TheGYC
*Simon
*Matt; US
*Matt; UK
*John
*Steven
*Steven and Ducky
*Baby Simon the bat
*The Valentine
*The V600
*The E65
*Biology
*The end of media
*NOODLES NOODLES NOODLES
*Aaron; the cheerleader
*The Mercedes
*The window
*Izzo/In The End
*Love Of Static Sound ; TopScreen 2007
*Øyvind
*Max
*Will
*Jake
*Adam
*SHANE, dammit I'd forgotten his name (SEE! forgetting already)
*Luke and Tom
*Josh and Jeff and Callum
*Adam
*Zaak
*The Cherry Cheesecake
*Boston – Augustana
*The roundabout
*The dream
*Flick had one too
*THE WARM 30!
*Knox, Timezone
*The hours of talking
*Production; Anything Goes
*If to come home you fail, I’ll open ALL YOUR MAIL
*MySpace
*Eugene! The photo
*Youth Group
*Falling asleep under the pool table
*Jemima
*The Church Fete, Brenton and Daniel, Bec
*The Factory
*The hernia
*The subsequent hernias
*Kate’s Funeral: November 22nd 2006, the last exam, Science. Mum was in QLD, also Steph broke up with me
*The scrapbook we did for Amy that year
*The formal in year 10, the awkwardness and the lovely dress
*Jenny’s a Jenny..Jenny
*Coming back from Phillip Island (Jamie and Lee Ann’s) listening to It’s Just Porn Mom on Stacey’s iPod mini
*The METEC day in year 10
*The VY Equipe
*Anthony Callea being really small on Stacey’s broken TV
*The time a bird flew into my window right after Stace told me to close it
*Delta Goodrem’s Together We Are One (from the…Olympics maybe) the remix with the audience in it. Was awesome
*Andrea Bocelli
*Midtown Madness
*John Hill
*Getting lost in North Ringwood
*Martin
*Face in space
* “Trouble”
*Me and Marc in Amy’s pool, attempting backflips
*Messy night at Youth
*Darkzone
*All night Darkzone with Owen
*Devin
*Destri
*POP TARTS
*IKEA pencils in methods exam
*Swedish Flag Face
*Zak
*Al-dori
*Ned
*Shannon
*Richard
*Emilie
*Chiropractor
*Eric
*Kimberley
*Tok Pisin
*Juggling
*Joel
*Christian
*CISCO
*Robin’s not-work
*We never got our Darkzone from the 2007 competition
*August 5, Saturday (maybe 15th) 2007 at Box Hill
*The bad-mood-scarf
*Amy’s that night after Youth Group
*2am matches-run to the Shell
*The drive home
*The freezing cold cans of Coke
*Flick sneaking out
*Half an hour of pay
*Movies
*Never turning out the way I wanted


And you know what,
That is enough.
I think..
I've got all I need.
Keep it safe.

It's
my
life.

x

It's like it's all we have

Media seems to be empty today
Maybe everyone's just sick of it
I have to agree with them though
Our back-row Brat Pack is the only thing that keeps me here for two hours each week.

It's been busy lately. But not in a noticeable way.
It's more that when I look back, I realise I haven't been home much in the past week or so.
I haven't seen Xanthe since Tuesday night...

I was thinking about a couple of people last night,
Who I haven't seen in awhile.
I don't want to lose them
And it's making me worried that I will
Also just now I thought about Zaak
And how his hair is no longer awesome
And how he no longer talks to me

Basically it's just different
Which isn't fun.
I've never liked different
And that's one thing that hasn't changed.

Holy pizzaness,
Famnig hjärta.
Hahaha.
See, whilst I'm losing contact with some
I'm managing to strengthen ties with others

So it's not all bad.

Hopefully it will stay that way
And not take a turn for the worse.

I think I'm running out of brain, yet again.

"I
must
be
emo."

x

So you wanna talk about it for awhile

Purple skinnies
Black hoody
Black scarf
Hair looks good

Ohyeah.
I'm a picture
of
awesomeness.

x

"Does it write Haiku's?"

No.
But I do.
Which is unfortunate, they aren't very good.
But I'll post them.
This was the product of an hour of weird third-year maths lecture that I didn't understand.

Is it worth the time
To chase the ones we care for
One day we will know.
**
So grey, so boring
More powerful than it looks
My heavy old Dull.
**
Why am I writing
My creativity fails
Haiku’s, not for me?
**
Maths is rather hard
No wonder people drop it
Algebra does suck.
**
The life of a wolf
Would be so fitting for me
The life I should have?



I wrote a bit more.
But I won't post it.

x