E-male

Sure,
I love the internet.
But there are some things about it that piss me off no end.
To a lesser extent (thanks to avast! and Spybot)
Viruses, spyware, malware, adware...all the other shit
That tries to infiltrate my Dull with it's phony promises and fishy..other things.
Social networking;
I've made so many friends online
Through chatrooms, forums, etc..
And a number of them, I've met in person
And they are great people.
But there are a great number more
Who I have not
And probably will not
Ever meet.
And sometimes that is okay.
But most of the time
I wish I could.
And it is made even worse when some of these people decide to up and leave.
I could give a list.
But I won't.
It'll make it worse.

I wish I was clever,
But instead I'm sitting here in my underwear listening to Rhianna who I dislike very much.
I
Wish
I
Was
Clever.

x

Nathanson

What happened to the little paperclip in Word that used to tell you how to do things?
What happened to carefree childhood?
What happened to caring for yourself along with others?
What happened to family bonding?
What happened to routine school weeks?

What
happened
to
bulletproof
weeks?

x

WHY YOU SHOULD

In trying to begin my latest essay
I find myself asking,
Why do I blog?
The essay is about communications technology,
And after a very strange (and slightly out-loud) thought pattern
I decided to write about blogging.

Basically, the article I am reading talks about reality, and symbols.
It gives the example of a house.
Let me introduce you to Ben and Vanessa.
They are building a house at 123 Fake Street.
They are over at their friend James' house for coffee
James asks to see the house.
Ben pulls out a copy of the blueprints for the house.
Vanessa pulls out her camera to show off some photos of the construction
(and maybe the burly construction workers, if she or James feel so inclined)
Ben is giving a symbol 'for' reality, whilst Vanessa is giving a symbol 'of' reality.
The reason for this, I won't bother explaining.

Whilst contemplating this, I thought about how people construct their own realities.
I thought about how I construct mine.
One of the many ways, is through this blog.
It portrays my reality, at the time of a particular post.
I write in an effort to try to explain how I am feeling.
Despite the fact that barely anyone reads my blog,
I write so that others can and will see my reality.
I write, to be understood.

In effect, my blog is a symbol of my reality. I think I already said that.
(Clearly, today my reality is braindead-ness, but that is another story entirely)

Downsides to this reality I am portraying;
There are a few.
Firstly, most of the time I blog, I'm not in the best of moods
Hence, the majority of my posts will give a fairly dim picture of my reality,
Which isn't completely accurate.
Secondly, because of the insecure nature of the internet
This blog is easily accessible
(simply by typing my name into Google, it comes up as the first result)
As a result I feel compelled to exclude some aspects of my present reality
So as to avoid negative ramifications
In the case that someone were to read things they need not know.
I suppose, in a way
It's a bit of a sham.
But it's about as close as you'll get to my reality
Unless you actually know me.
And I suppose when it all comes down to it,
I'd rather know people than have them just read my blog.
What
are
friends
for.

x

Under Pressure

You know what.
Get the fuck outta my head.
Either that,
Or get back into my life.
Two choices.

I say this because
Every time,
I get a fleeting reference to your existence
I end up in the same place
Back to a time when we were better.
But now, I'm watching from afar..
I'm not in the middle of it, like I was almost two years ago.

I suppose,
I
have
to
let
it
go.

x

Boxing The Stars

Mum is on the phone talking about the creepy Volvo man across the road.
He's a bit of a weirdo.
Anyway.
Things are changing, already.
Little by little.
Yes.
This is a short post.
But I have class.
Suckfail.

x

Dark Blue

I'm fairly sure I just realised how boring the internet is.
I need to find better things to do..
Like, play The Sims.

I got up early to do a linguistics assignment which I'd completely forgotten about until Aidan reminded me of it last night.
Conveniently, it was super easy (for the most part) and I finished it pretty quick..
So then I thought
"Okay. I'll just randomly traipse the interwebs for awhile..."
But it is so boring.
Mainly because there is no one online to talk to.
And, it's just hit me.
That's all I really use the internet for.
I mean sure it's great for ... other stuff. Like, I dunno. Paying bills?
But I pretty much just use it to talk to people...
People who are currently sleeping or schooling. LAME.
Also I can probably leave soon, so I don't have to be bored much longer.

Lastly, I have another assignment due tomorrow, for education.
Although, I'm quite confident given how well I did on my last one.
Also Karen loves me and will give me a HD just because I am awesome.
(Ahem. I wish.)

OH NO. Not lastly.
Yesterday was 09/09/09
(And I just remembered how I blogged about 08/08/08 just over a year ago, I might re-read that just now)
I managed to get my Twitter count up to 999 updates!
I was so very proud.
Stace texted me at about midnight and was like YOU FAILED and I was like nah. I got it.
I was impressed.
999 at 2359.
Stupidly, I didn't think to screenshot it until 0016, but at least then it said "17 minutes ago"
So I could still tell of my awesomeness.

In other news
(wow, that really was not 'lastly', when I claimed it to be)
the car is counting it's kilometres once again.
Possibly with reluctance,
But if I cannot escape aging, nor can my car.
Aging? Ageing?
Apparently Firefox red-lines the second one.
I'll believe you, browser.

Time for cereal?
To
kick-
start
my
day.

x

N95i

i.
hate.
you.

Thief of Time

You know what clock, fuck you.
I'm soon going to need a new Countdown.

I never did read that book.

My words, they don't come out right

I do not need you to sit and nitpick at every single little thing I do.
Nor do I need you to rally support from the rest of them.
I don't need, or want, any one of you to tell me why you're think I'm wrong.
Take your opinion, and shove it.

Also.
Fuck off Bluetooth.
You do not work that way.
Go and bitch to someone else.

Jack and Sally

Where are you
And I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep
I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping in
So haunting every time.

iMiss my iPod.
I can has moar Zaakary?
I still have the keys.
And that one, too.
Akimaru and his ten-foot pole.
I know I can't do it all again.
And I hate it.

"I know it's wrong,
but I do it anyway
because it feels right."

Story
of
my
fucking
life.

x

Akimaru

There is some guy outside my room fixing our gas heater.
It's kinda noisy and distracting, but I suppose it's for the greater good, given we haven't been able to use said heater in a few days.
As a result....it's cold.
Also my stupid laptop bluetooth - which I thought I fixed - is no longer fixed.
What disappointment.
Keeping in theme with fixing, my car was fixed yesterday.
And moreover, we are still trying to fix the Upside Down-ness.
Who knows.
It may take awhile.
But it seems to be getting better.

I feel as though I should be doing something today
I mean, other than the classes which I will be going to later.
Perhaps, I should go and find out
And
Do
It.

x

P.S.
Aki. I miss you.