EF

Whilst I'm aware it is after midnight
And therefore technically Friday
I'm still counting it as the end of the 13th.


It shocks me to think it has been a whole year.
It's been one hell of a year
And I mean that rather literally.


Ups
Downs
Highs
Lows
Smashes
Crashes
Mad dashes 
Across the countryside. 
Some things have changed
Some have not.
Some things have moved
Whilst others have remained.


I don't know whether I'm any better for it
But it's done and dusted
There's nothing I can do about it now
But move ahead.


Something that has done quite a lot
Of ahead-moving
Is my dearest Fairmont.
I know..
I crap on about it all the time..
But I think it's important.


My latest conclusion RE: the Fairmont
Is that he is acting as a substitute boyfriend.
Evidence:
I spend a lot of time inside him
(Sorry..couldn't resist.) 
I spend a lot of money on him
And I wake up each day
Happy to know I'll be spending time with him.
Sure,
Maybe I'm insane. 
But after nearly 4 months
He's caused me very little trouble
And we still fit together very well.
He doesn't argue with me.
He (usually) does what I want.
If he wants something
He tells me.
It's approaching the realms of a perfect relationship.


However.
Whilst I love my car dearly
There is obviously nothing
That replaces actual human contact.
And that is clearly the area
In which I am struggling
And lacking.
I need affection.
I need more of it.
I need it from someone I can return it to.
So underneath my veil of car-love
I'm still the same.


Single.
Desperate.
Silly. 


x