Easy A

I haven't done this in awhile.
But this song has been around a lot lately.


Good Life - OneRepublic


Woke up in London yesterday
Found myself in the city near Piccadilly
Don't really know how I got here
I got some pictures on my phone


New names and numbers that I don't know
Addresses to places like Abbey Road
Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want
We're young enough to say


Oh, this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life


I say, "Oh, got this feeling that you can't fight"
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life, a good, good life


To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where we've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Colorado


Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We all got our stories, but please tell me
What there is to complain about


When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over
When everything is out you gotta take it in


Oh, this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life


I say, oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life, a good, good life
Oh, a good, good life, yeah


Hopelessly
I feel like there might be something that I'll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly
I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cause hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about


Oh, this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life


I say, "Oh, got this feeling that you can't fight"
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life, a good, good life
Oh yeah, good, good life, good life, oh, this is


To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Colorado


Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We all got our stories but please tell me
What there is to complain about


x.

EF

Whilst I'm aware it is after midnight
And therefore technically Friday
I'm still counting it as the end of the 13th.


It shocks me to think it has been a whole year.
It's been one hell of a year
And I mean that rather literally.


Ups
Downs
Highs
Lows
Smashes
Crashes
Mad dashes 
Across the countryside. 
Some things have changed
Some have not.
Some things have moved
Whilst others have remained.


I don't know whether I'm any better for it
But it's done and dusted
There's nothing I can do about it now
But move ahead.


Something that has done quite a lot
Of ahead-moving
Is my dearest Fairmont.
I know..
I crap on about it all the time..
But I think it's important.


My latest conclusion RE: the Fairmont
Is that he is acting as a substitute boyfriend.
Evidence:
I spend a lot of time inside him
(Sorry..couldn't resist.) 
I spend a lot of money on him
And I wake up each day
Happy to know I'll be spending time with him.
Sure,
Maybe I'm insane. 
But after nearly 4 months
He's caused me very little trouble
And we still fit together very well.
He doesn't argue with me.
He (usually) does what I want.
If he wants something
He tells me.
It's approaching the realms of a perfect relationship.


However.
Whilst I love my car dearly
There is obviously nothing
That replaces actual human contact.
And that is clearly the area
In which I am struggling
And lacking.
I need affection.
I need more of it.
I need it from someone I can return it to.
So underneath my veil of car-love
I'm still the same.


Single.
Desperate.
Silly. 


x

Are We Listening

I love to say
"I told you so,"
But it doesn't do anyone any good
So I refrain.
In fact
I am just waiting for someone to say it right back to me.


My Season 4 DVD's are missing from their place.


I wonder today
Who else is thinking
About a day that happened not so long ago
For me it meant little
My day comes next Thursday.
Happily I can say
I no longer dwell
But stupidly I keep
Small reminders around


Bits of paper.


"$40.87
17/01/10 21:34"


"Coles Express
Bexley 2207
Shell Autogas Pump 02 23.44L 59.9c/L $14.04
Unleaded Pump 06 41.63L 124.9c/L $51.99
18/01/10 21:45"


You get the point.
There are more but they are hidden.
And I am the stupid one who cannot let them go.
No longer can I say "fuck you"
Because I'm the only one who still cares.


I need to stop complaining
I need to stop seeking attention
I need to stop thinking that they notice
I need to stop trying to be good enough for them


After all,
It doesn't really matter.


We
make,
We
break.


x

oneoneoneone.

Just a couple of things that made me laugh today. 

One of my favourite things about showering

Is that my arms look really nice and tanned

Compared with the rest of me

Which incidentally is rather white.

Also in the shower

For some reason

I was thinking about how a few years ago

I would picture myself married to certain friends

And wonder if it would ever work.

I remember thinking of Stacey

And it was something like

"Yeah..Stacey.

We could be married.

We both like lasagne.

At least we could eat the same foods."

Yup.

I'm that cool.

Happy

New

Year.

x

195,003

I am not a genius.

As a result,

There are many things in this world that happen

That I do not completely comprehend.

For example.

Why does my Fairmont's handbook suggest 5.5L of oil for an oil change

Yet my Fairmont be satisfied with only 4.5?

Why do I feel sick one day, better the next, but worse the day after

Instead of recovering in a predictable fashion?

Why would one occasionally be a tease

But for the most part appear uninterested?

Why would a best friend

Who merely weeks ago suspected someone of purposely manipulating friendships

Change their perspective and instead side completely with this person?

Who the fuck knows.

Some of life's many mysteries,

Clearly.

So here I sit

Frustrated beyond what I actually tell everyone

Not knowing why I still feel sick

Or why people play hard to get

Or why I'm being fucked over by people who used to care.

I want to play Grand Theft Auto.

Too

dle

oo.

x

P.S.

I would like to point out that I washed dishes at work for far too long today

And as there was basically an entire ecosystem in the sink by the end of it

I nearly spewed a number of times.

It was somewhat of a battle between me, the crockery and the dishwasher.

I won.

Then I went home.

The end.

Not Nineteen Forever

I would like to say

Very quickly

That my teen years have officially toodled away.

Wut,

I'm twenty.

But that's cool.

I can totally deal.

But for now

Sleep is most definitely in order.

Hello,

Next

Decade.

x

Bring Night

I don't really remember what my last post was.
I could just check,
But where's the fun in that?
I just saw that it was November 29th
Which was awhile ago.

Apparently there is some lunar eclipse going on tonight
But we can't really see it at the moment.
Although I think I'm about to get up on the roof to see.

**

Oh.
I just remembered
I hate ladders.
It's also too cloudy to see what's going on.


I'm on edge today.
God only knows why.
I slept in until 2pm
And I've done pretty much nothing all day
But I'm irritable.


That is all, really.


Yesterday I did a bit more work on the interior of the car
And I'm pretty pleased with the results.
In fact, my planned interior is coming together quite nicely.
Only annoyance was discovering last night
That one of my lock knobs has toodled out of the door
And.. I can't find it.
Conveniently they are pretty easy to replace
But still.


I think I may try and find a bottle of wine
And indulge a little before I go to bed.


Raise
Your
Glass.

x