On Top Of The World

I feel absolutely fantastic today
It's a welcome change from my usual
I did something today that I've been wanting to
And it was so easy
It went so well
And I'm very pleased

School was kinda boring, as school is
But I could not be happier right now
No, that's not true..
I could be
But I am way happy enough, to not care about feeling any better
Hahaha
And I am rambling again
But it is so worth it
I love today
And tomorrow will also be awesome, I hope
Bloody brilliant!

Love Life, is the motto of Boost, aka my work

They
Would
Be
Proud!
x

ANZAC

I decided that I wouldn't harp on about the ANZAC's
And how they fought with their lives
We all know
What amazing people they were
I don't need to reiterate that
Besides
It would ruin my mood
I don't feel overly happy
But definitely not negative
More just sentimental
But it's good
In a way
It is also fairly late
Mum and Dad are out
For the first time in years they left us at home
And went out
To a friend's 50th birthday, actually
They should be home soon I guess
I had this horrible image of them being in a car crash
Because I can hear the rain outside
But to be honest I think our car is made of plenty thick enough metal
To protect them
And besides
I highly doubt they will be in a crash
Why am I even talking about it!
Moving on.
I worked today, it was good but it seemed like it was so much longer than 5 hours
My room is a mess
A little like my head at the moment
But in a way the clutter seems normal
And expected
It's also quite warm in here

So
In conclusion
Today was worth living
And for that
I
Am
Glad.
x

All Fall Down

Happens to be the name of the song I'm listening to currently
But it just seemed appropriate
I feel like that today
I'm in the library
At school
Attempting to write an English essay
And it is definitely not working
I am surrounded by noisy people
Not to mention noisy thoughts
In English this morning
Miss Hall spoke about dysphemisms
And more specifically
How many offensive words have lost impact
And that no-one is offended by them anymore
I decided not to say that they annoy me
It annoys me
The fact that people think we can just shove all this crap
In the face of society
And we all get so used to it
Desensitised, I believe is the word
We did stuff about it in media last year

Anyway
School is it's usual deplorable self
My melancholy is really kicking in today
Sabotaging any chance of enjoying it
Not that there's a whole lot to enjoy
And I'm hungry...

Still a lonely wolf, I am
I can't name names
But I've recently discovered (and become quite interested in)
Someone
Who just radiates this essence of awesome
And somehow I've managed to get myself caught
In this feeling
I won't bother describing it
It's good though
But it is so unfounded
And possibly will end badly
But I hope not
Hopefully it will end well

Maybe
It's
Better
That
Way.
x

Birthday

Today is the birthday
Of my amazing friend Stacey
She is the epic age of 18
And I am proud to say I've known her since we were 4!
I don't have a whole lot else to say
But I love her dearly
And she is an amazing friend to me
Always has been
And hopefully
Always will be

Here for you Stace
Forever
And
A
Day.
x

Label

Back to school
Yay for year 12..
It's not all bad though
As much as I don't appreciate
The work
The stress that we supposedly are meant to have
I don't want to leave school
It means that
I have to do my own thing
I have to create my own routine
Which may prove slightly difficult
But I've always had this issue
'What do I do after I finish school?'
As though no one has ever had to do it before me
Overreacting seems to be a common occurrence for me
For whatever reason

Recent happenings
Well..
I am attempting to buy a laptop
A Dell Latitude D610
Ugly bugger of a thing
Chunky, but tough
Well suited to a business environment
Not that I'm in a business
But that just means it should easily deal with what I want it for
I have this weird feeling that if I do get it
I should name it
Hence the 'Label'
It needs a label
A name
Assuming I do actually get it
I have to work out if I can afford it
In conjunction with the deb ball
See
This is what happens when you have parents with no money
You have to pay for stuff
Not that I mind
And also
I have chosen to buy/pay for these two things
It's not like I had no choice
But I don't really do so well with the
Not-spending-money thing..
I mean yeah, I have money saved up
And I can't touch that money until I use it to buy a car
But it's not nearly enough for a car yet
Which is okay
I'm not 18 til December
But still
My justification for me buying anything
Has always been
You only live once
Now that I think about it
Mum said that to me the other day
"You only get one shot at life..
.. one.."
It was quite a sad conversation actually
There were tears, in fact
I started it
Of course
But on a totally different topic
Somehow
We managed to get to our current financial situation
Which is... less than impressive
Hence my paying-for-stuff
But
It's hard
See, I've reached a point where I'm just completely rambling
Blurting out stupid utterances that are so irrelevant
I got 92% on my last English Language SAC
I'm pleased

Okay..
Enough of my rambling

To those who read this

I
Love
You.

x

Stud

One last thing for tonight
A random memory

I was walking home
From the local shops
After running an errand for Mum
Buying a bottle of milk
Or something

Walking down the street
Some guy
Sitting with his mate outside the bakery
He looks at me
As I walk past
He says
"Hey! I've got a secret for you.."
Being a child
Of maybe 8, 9, 10-ish
I didn't think to ignore him
I walked a step or two towards him
And he says
"You have got the best red lips..
..that girls love to kiss..
..you're a stud mate, you're a stud!"
I walked off
A little scared
Not knowing what a stud was

Thinking back
I'm not sure why he said that to me
Him being a middle-aged-ish man
Me being a kid
But whatever

I think
He
Was
Wrong.

x

Silvaro

Silvaro is the name
Of my mothers car
In case you were wondering
I didn't name it
Dad did..
We have had said car for almost 8 years now
Longest we've had a car
Since I was born
Yes, it is 22 years old now
But I love it to pieces
I drive it sometimes
Whenever I drive, in fact
I drove a bit today
And I honestly enjoyed it
Wrestling with the steering wheel
To get the car to stay in a straight line
Along any road, smooth, rough, straight, or windy
It is somewhat irritating to drive
But once you know the tricks
It's okay
It stalled on me today, I think three times
Which is very unusual
Normally I can make it so it doesn't
But today
My feet seemed to be doing the wrong thing
How's that
An automatic car that stalls
Isn't it brilliant?
It starts again though
9 out of 10 times
Sometimes it requires encouragement
Like when you want to drive up big hills
I find the best thing is to get as fast as you can
Before the hill
Then it's a little easier

But I realised something today
Not that I didn't know it
But it just sort of
Made sense to me
If you drive it nicely
Gently
Smoothly
It gives you the same courtesy
It accelerates smoothly (albeit slowly)
It changes gears nicely
And it doesn't make weird noises
But if you encourage it too much
It will rev way too high
It will change gears with a nasty jerk
And it is generally
Unpleasant
But love it
And it will love you back

I realise I am talking about this car like it is a person
Even though
I am well aware
It is not
But it's part of our house
I guess
It's been in the driveway for nearly 8 years
As I previously mentioned


Anyway.
On to something else
I thought I lost my wallet
But I didn't
Well
I did
But it is in Ebony's boyfriend's car
Relief.

Also
The other day
I'm not sure I can be bothered telling the whole story
Basically
Alcohol
A spa
A mistaken feeling
All come together, to make me want to hit someone
No need to explain further
It was not fun, though
And it resulted in me thinking I lost my wallet
But Jess is okay
I hope
I think
I will see her tomorrow morning at 8am
Period zero, maths methods
Ouch.

Apologies to anyone who happens to read this
If it doesn't make sense
But
Too damn bad

Currently:
Starting to wonder
Why I'm
Here
Not
There.

x

Rayman!

On a lighter note for today
After work
We (my family)
Went to Eastland for dinner
Just randomly
And after we ate
My siblings and I traipsed off to EB Games
Because
They have their marvellous "2 for $50" offer
So I bought Rayman Raving Rabbids
And a recharge station
For the Wii
*massive smile*
So maybe now I'll have an excuse to play it
Because our current games
Well..
They are less than captivating
For me, anyway
So I'm quite pleased

I also want to make mention
This blog
I think I will intend to write in it quite frequently
Once every couple of days I guess

Sometimes stuff like this
Just events..
Other times
Like my other posts
Depressing thoughts
Haha.
Kidding
Just thoughts..

But for no real reason
Because I think a grand total
Of 3 people
Have actually heard about this blog

If by chance
There are some randoms out there
Reading me
Comment?
Email?
Something?!

x

I am not enough

I apologise in advance
If this is a little depressing and self-pitying
But lately I've been thinking
Maybe I'm not cut out for this world
The pain
The suffering
The corruption
The lack of justice
The drugs
The self-destruction
Of others, not so much myself
But just knowing it happens
Gets to me
Even those who live life so differently
Those who don't care
The party animals
The whores
The alcoholics
I could go on forever...
Our society is not all that pretty

In my opinion
It's a harsh reality
That's better left
Uncovered.

x

A hug is all I ask

I was in the city yesterday
With a beautiful boy
Who totally made my day
I wish he was here
So I could hold him
Because I'm upset
Not at anything in particular
Just...
At the world
And the lack of Adam in my presence
Yes, his name is Adam
And I hope to see him again soon
So I can hug him
More than once
If I had it my way I wouldn't let him go
We could just be
With each other

But I feel as though I'm getting too attached
Too soon
I tend to do that
But I really feel like it could...
Progress
I hope so anyway
He's someone I'd be so proud
To be with
Someone my parents would probably like
Not that that matters so much
Just makes it easier..

Anyway
I'm really glad I met him
And I hope I see him again
Sooner rather than later
And hopefully he forgives my.. incessant affection for him
I can't help it
It just..
Feels right

I don't have a lot more to say today
I did maths homework for a few hours
And managed to not accomplish much
It feels so insignificant
But I have to do it...
And fast, too

More satisfied than before
My feelings are out there
I still wish
I was
with
him.

x